confession..

today feel like saying everything out to her..
morning 9 am i wake up
meet cathy at aljunied..
then after that went to head office to return uniform
then after that jun wei came to join us..
then we went to plaza sing to cancel cathy plan..
then me and jun wei chat alot.. kept talking about how to say to her
after that jun wei go home then i go vivo play maximum tune
play until about 5 plus then almost forget to take my phone
maybe kept thinking about meeting her later
was distracted..
went home to lie down awhile until 6 plus..
then woke up prepare.. and went to meet her
she came out at around 8 plus then we go eat dinner..
today is the last time i eat dinner with her..
after eating we chat alot of thing
feel like saying everything out to her.. but i cant seem to say it out
after reach NUS.. we chat along the bridge for awhile..
i kept finding topic to talk with her
but still dont know how to tell her everything in my heart
in the middle.. i tell her that i got something to tell her
but she told me that she dont wanna listen anything that she doesn't like..
then all of the sudden.. i got no mood already
then i find other topic to chat with her
time flies.. its 11.30 ++
before going home.. i took a few picture with her
no train already.. so i wait for bus to go home
while going home.. i wanna know about how she feel about me
maybe i don even have a chance ?
if whether she want me to stay in singapore anot..
after i send her the message..
then i talk to my friend on the phone awhile..
then she told me that she want someone who wan protect her
someone who can advise her..
then my heart got something that cannot be explain
felt like a stone on my heart..
then i lift up my courage.. and kept talking to her
then i send message to few of my friend that she rejected me already..
then kept trying to act strong on the surface
cause i didn't want her to worry..
but i'm feeling very sad inside..
i really dont know what to do..
maybe its because i'm younger then her
till midnight 3 am plus.. i still cannot sleep
kept thinking .. maybe we really wasen't meant to be together :(
maybe i will keep all this feelings and memories to myself
not to let everyone know.. but she will always be in my heart
then i really wish that.. in the future we will have chance to be together..
but after what she say.. i think i will change my thinking.. cause i grow up already..
then if she really saw what i blog about
i really want to tell her.. i will wait for her..